


Healthy, Never Mind Normal

by Diary



Category: Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Agnostic Character, Agnostic Near | Nate River, Alternate Universe - Pre-Canon, Autism, Autistic Near | Nate River, Bechdel Test Fail, Catholic Character, Catholic Mello | Mihael Keehl, Character of Faith, Late Night Conversations, Literal Sleeping Together, Love, Male Friendship, Mentioned Linda (Death Note), POV Child, POV Male Character, POV Mello | Mihael Keehl, Sharing a Bed, Synesthesia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-04
Updated: 2018-12-04
Packaged: 2019-09-06 21:20:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16840636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Diary/pseuds/Diary
Summary: AU. Everyone is running around fretting about where little Nate Rivers, the autistic boy from the hospital down the road, could have possibly gone and how he could have gotten out in the first place. Complete.





	Healthy, Never Mind Normal

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own Death Note.

Adults, Mello decides, can be so _stupid_.

Everyone is running around fretting about where little Nate Rivers, the autistic boy from the hospital down the road, could have possibly gone and how he could have gotten out in the first place.

Apparently, all those times he’s seen Nate outside all alone, no one else realised Nate was, in fact, outside all alone.

All those times, eventually, Nate ended up back inside the hospital, and hopefully, Nate will again before he has to tell these idiot adults about the aforementioned times. He’s still in trouble for getting into a fight last week, and they might not believe he didn’t know he should have told them when those times happened.

Spotting him, Roger scowls. “Mello, go to your room.”

He doesn’t argue. Usually, Roger would think to check him for chocolate, and his lost privileges would be extended another week, at least.

In his and Matt’s room, Matt is playing some video game, and he wonders how long it’ll take for the adults to realise almost all of the students are taking advantage of the search for Nate. Matt’s only allowed to use the school computers for classwork, and the TV he’s playing games on is an old one Roger’s never gotten around to chucking; it’s been up in the attic for years, but Matt must have snuck it out, hooked it up, and swiped some video games from one of the kids who isn’t on restricted privileges.

Glancing over, Matt asks, “You know where Nate is?”

Scoffing, he sits down on his bed. “No. How would I have any clue?”

Matt shrugs. “He likes you. He talks to you.”

Unwrapping one of his chocolate bars, he says, “He talks to you, too.”

“He plays games with me. You, he has actual conversations with.”

“He asks me what the proper names for different colours are. And occasionally tells me why he thinks Catholicism is wrong.”

The first can be mildly annoying, but the latter is downright infuriating.

Still, Nate’s a ninety-pound autistic boy who can’t handle direct sunlight. Even if Nate said such things to deliberately cause anger, and he doesn’t think Nate does, hurting him would be a horrible response.

Not hurting a kid like this really isn’t something to take pride in, he knows, because, most normal people would never even consider doing so, but there are times he’s tempted to say, _See, Roger, you’re wrong, I do occasionally have impulse control and empathy for others_.

“You know, if you found him, you might get your chocolate privileges back early.”

“Roger and them aren’t letting any of us go outside right now, and if I snuck out, that’d probably add _months_.”

“Not if you said you were worried about him.”

Vaguely curious why Matt seems to want him gone, he points out, “No one would believe that.”

Besides, if someone did think this, he’d feel the need the correct them.

He’s not worried about Nate. Whether it’s autism or simple lack of common sense combined with genuine disinterest in learning social cues, Nate probably can’t function in normal, everyday society, but right now, he’s only been gone for about two hours, and he’s been outside for much longer than this in the past. He can play outside without anything major happening; he knows how to avoid the sun, not to talk to adult strangers, and to look both ways before crossing the street (though he still prefers Mello hold his hand when he does), and he can get back to hospital when he’s had his fill.

Sighing, Matt turns around fully. “Uh, the thing is, I know where he is.”

“Okay. So, either tell or don’t. Eventually, he’ll reappear back in-”

“Look, I know he doesn’t have emotions like regular people-”

“Autistic people sometimes don’t _express_ emotions the way most people do.”

The truth is, he’s not sure Nate has the ability to fully feel anything besides curiosity and mild irritation, but Nate would be a weird kid whether he was autistic or not. Some of the misconceptions about autism put kids who don’t have kind, well-meaning, if occasionally stupid, adults like Nate does in danger.

“But he kind of seemed- angry? Sad? Something not good. He asked me to promise not to tell anyone where he was, but if something happens to him, and it gets out that I knew-” Matt trails off.

He rolls his eyes. “Fine. I’ll go get him. Give me a clue where he is.”

…

Ducking under the park tree’s vines, he finds Nate sitting and playing with a toy robot.

“Hey, Nate. You doing okay?” He sits down.

Bringing a hand up, Nate plays with one of his curls. “Why is Mello called Mello?”

“My first name is Mihael. When L first brought me to Wammy’s, the other kids had trouble pronouncing it, and somehow, that turned into ‘Mello’.”

“I’m different from Mello.”

“In a lot of ways, yeah, you are.”

“What colour is Mello?”

The question throws him, and he bites down the urge to snap. “Nate, we’re both white.”

“No,” Nate says.

“Alright, then. What colour are you?”

“Usually clear,” Nate answers. “Mello’s colour is- beautiful.”

He knows there’s a missing piece, but he can’t grasp what it might be.

“And what colour is Matt?”

“His colours won’t settle.”

An idea appears.

“Hey, Nate, look at this.” He knocks his hand against the tree, and Nate tilts his head.

“I can never make it look like that.” Nate taps against the tree with his fingers, and he frowns.

“You never told me you have synesthesia. Is it just chromesthesia?”

Nate stares at him blankly.

His first reaction is: _Oh, come on, there’s no way an autistic boy with a genius IQ who is literally living in a hospital has never heard of ‘synesthesia’._

Except, he realises, as established: Nate’s adults are largely idiots.

He knows no one is abusing Nate. Nate’s allowed to stim, there’s no ABA, and the hospital does their best with supplementing what little he will eat with multivitamins. He’ll probably never get all the nutrition he should be getting, but this really isn’t anyone’s fault.

There’s no abuse, but the staff didn’t even realise he’s been going outside all alone for months, and he doesn’t know certain medical things about himself. There’s a possibility they don’t know either.

“I can’t see colours when I hear noises,” he explains.

Nate studies him for a long minute. “But it takes practise to make the colours do different things and take on different shades.”

“Nate, the colours aren’t- Something in your brain makes you see colours when you hear noises. It’s chromesthesia, a sub-sect of synesthesia. The majority of the population doesn’t have synesthesia.”

“Do only autistic people?”

“No.”

“Martin Luther certainly would have considered me a changeling.”

He winces.

The statement wasn’t a barb, he knows. However, it doesn’t change the fact the Catholic church along with other sects of Christianity and most other religions haven’t been great about dealing with whole sheaths of people, either. From the Magdalene laundries, crusades, cover ups of child abuse, and the fact some high up in the Vatican did shield Nazis-

If he couldn’t feel God in his heart, see the signs of divine building blocks in every day life, he likely wouldn’t accept people continuing to promote something that so many before have used as an excuse to indulge in horrible behaviours. Fallible men and possibly women wrote the gospels, and religion’s been used to exclude people instead of including everyone.

The God he knows is one of love, even towards people he himself would have no problem with forever being excluded.

“Well, we both know changelings don’t exist. And no one’s going to torture you while I’m around.”

A brief smile crosses Nate’s face.

“Hey, Nate, are you okay? Matt didn’t tell me you were here, but he seemed worried about you. Asked me to find you.”

“Matt is called Matt.”

“Yeah. His dad was a piece of work. Named him ‘Mail’. Easy enough to pronounce, but what kind of name is that for a kid?”

“Did L bring Matt to Wammy’s, too?”

“No. I’m a special case. He’s only brought one other person.”

 _That_ didn’t turn out well, but he’s different. He’s not mental like BB was.

“Tell me about it.”

“There’s not much to tell. He found me, realised I was a genius, and brought me to Wammy’s.”

He tries not to think of the orphanage in Russia or some of the things done to him. Those people are the ones who should be ashamed, not him.

As much as he loves L, he knows L only got him UK citizenship and took him to Wammy’s, because, someday, L is going to need a successor, and if L hadn’t seen potential, he would have simply been shipped to a different orphanage. Now, there’s no guarantee it’ll be him, but he is one of the possibilities.

“Someday, I’m going to be a great detective like he is.”

“If Mello and I worked together, we’d be even greater than he is.”

He chuckles. “Yeah, maybe, we would. You’re smarter than me, better at abductive reasoning, but I understand humans on an emotional level better and usually know how to deal with them.”

Nate scoots closer to him. “I’m never going to be able to live all alone. I wouldn’t want to. But I can do more than people think I can. ‘Low-functioning with high intelligence.’ That’s not what I am.”

He considers how to respond. “Want me to talk to the adults at the hospital for you? Maybe, you can start going to an actual school.”

“I could go be Mello’s classmate.”

“Eh, probably not. Wammy’s is really expensive for most people, and I’m not sure you’d be one of the exceptions. But maybe you could come over sometimes on the weekends instead of just sneaking out when you feel like it.”

“That would be nice.”

The first time he met Nate and realised where he was from, he’d asked what Nate was doing outside all alone, and Nate given him a literal answer. He hadn’t pushed, and he’ll acknowledge he might be as guilty as the adults of making assumptions when he’d assumed someone from hospital knew where Nate was and what he was doing, but he’s not as stupid. Nate isn’t a minor in his adult care.

“Nate, the first time you left hospital by yourself, why did you?”

“I was following the colours. They led me to Mello.”

“You were playing with cards when I first met you.”

Nate nods. “The colours came back when Mello came over.”

Deciding he’ll see if he can get the whole story later, he asks, “What do you say we go to Wammy’s right now, and I’ll talk to the people looking for you, okay?”

…

When they get to Wammy’s, Nate seems to curl into himself, and he’s surprised at the show of- fear? Hesitation?

“Hey.” He kneels down. “I’m going to talk to them for you. You can do more than they think, and it’s time they start helping you do them. It’ll be alright.”

Standing, he offers his hand, and Nate’s fingers curl around his.

…

It’s not that surprising when Roger takes one look at them and immediately yells, “Mello, what have you done this time?”

Nate tightens his grip, but thankfully, people who don’t have a bias against him are nearby, and before he can really grasp what’s happening, it’s decided Nate will be kipping in his and Matt’s room for the night.

“We only have two beds,” he protests.

“Matt often sleeps with you. Your guest can sleep in your bed tonight while you sleep in his.”

It’s true Matt does sleep in his bed with him, but it’s always been Matt’s choice to sleep with him and his choice to let Matt. Something bad happened before Matt came to Wammy’s, and now, if he has to sleep alone, he has terrible insomnia, and if he does manage to get to sleep, there’s a good chance he’ll have night terrors.

“Why does Matt sleep with Mello?”

“He has bad dreams sometimes.”

…

“Hey, Mello.”

Swatting at Matt’s poking, he yawns. “Bad dream?”

“No, but Nate’s still awake.”

Sitting up, he blinks until his eyes have adjusted to the nightlight-lit darkness. Over on Matt’s bed, Nate is playing with a chessboard.

“Nate, you need to try to go to sleep,” he says.

“Everything is too unfamiliar.”

“Want to see if Mello’s familiar enough for you to get to sleep?” Matt asks.

And this is how he ends up with both Matt and Nate in his bed. If he weren’t so desperate to get back to sleep, he’d probably try something else to help Nate, but once the other two are settled with Nate against the wall and Matt on his other side, they both quickly fall asleep, and he gratefully allows himself to follow.

…

Epilogue

Nate’s first day as a Wammy student goes okay until third period.

“I want to stay with Mello.”

“Nate, we’ve talked about the fact we have some different classes. You’ll be fine. We’re going to have lunch together, okay?”

Twirling his hair, Nate frowns.

“Hey, c’mon. You went nine years without being close to anyone. There are going to be times, especially when we’re older, that you, me, and Matt are all going to be separated from each other. It’s healthy and normal. You’re never going to be what most people consider normal, and that’s alright, but you need to focus on being healthy.”

Nearby, Roger shifts, and repressing a sigh, he knows he’s probably going to get scolded soon. Roger can never make up his mind. For all he expects Mello to look out for Nate, he usually doesn’t agree with the way Mello looks out for Nate.

“Very well. Linda’s in my class. She’ll help me with the colours.”

Once again, he sends up a prayer of thanks for Linda. He never had much use for her in the past -it wasn’t dislike or annoyance so much as simple disinterest-, but she’s been great when it comes to Nate. A bonafide artist, she can relate to Nate in a way even he and Matt can’t, and she has a natural patience he sometimes envies.

They get to Nate’s class, and after a few seconds of hesitation, Nate goes inside, and then, over to Linda’s desk.

“Mello, I’d like to talk to you for a moment,” Roger says.

Managing not to roll his eyes, he nods, and they go to Roger’s office.

“I want to thank you,” Roger says.

“What?”

“You’ve shown great kindness and responsibility in helping Nate. I know you and I don’t see eye-to-eye on many things, but I want you to know, I do appreciate all you’ve done.”

Unsure how to handle the surprise and other feelings going through him, he shrugs. “He’s always near. It’s just easier to try to help him than to make him go away. Can I have an extra brownie at lunch?”

“No. However, if you stay out of trouble for the rest of the week, I’ll let you and Nate have your allowances early. You and he may go to town and get some chocolate and a new toy.”

“Sounds good. Thanks, Roger.”

Adults can be stupid, but sometimes, they show real promise, Mello decides.


End file.
